March 13th, 2022. Two-year anniversary of anatomy scan that completely changed life as we knew it then. 

My sister wrote me last night about it—requesting that we mark it with prayer/worship alongside one another, rejoicing at the growth and richness we’ve all experienced as a result of what at the time knocked the wind out of us all. 

So I decided to write up and share a brief reflection (below) and a few verses that have served as an anchor of sorts, along with a song I thought we could allow to marinate our souls as we mark the significance of this day together (“Goodness of God” –I chose the CeCe Winans version)

“Today marks two years since our life-altering anatomy scan, March 13th, 2020:

Looking back at my prayer journal from around that time, my good friend had written me:
“I don’t know if you’re one to journal or write down any of these prayers or emotions but I think it would be cool to look back and see the Lord’s hand holding you up through all of this and see where his faithfulness has shown.”

To which I replied, “Yes I was just thinking tonight I should write down all the extremely difficult fears and feelings I’m having as a way to physically hand them to the Lord and pray for more trust. Cuz I’m honestly just worried I won’t have joy again. I know I will. But today it’s HEAVY.”

And she said to me; “Girl he promises it. I know it absolutely doesn’t feel like it now. Psalm 30–read that one.”

I did have that time before the Lord that night, where Nate and I were down on our knees crying–weeping–to the Lord. I wrote down my fears and darkest thoughts and held them up to the Lord. It was pivotal.

I sent a video of Tauren Wells performing a song about hills and the valleys the very next morning, how God is a God of all of them and that we are not alone, to my mom and sister; my mom sobbed, and this was after one of our family’s closest friends had texted her Isaiah 45:1-3.
“I will go before you and will level the mountains ; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”

To which my sister responded with the incredibly timely daily scripture in her devotional that was along the very same lines for that day: Jeremiah 33:3
 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Now here we are exactly two years later, and I’m looking back at these incredibly dark fears of the unknown I had written down–understanding that that’s fully how I felt at the time, but it feels so far away and unrelatable right now; oh, how reminiscent of Psalm 30!

How powerful it is to follow these seasons of being down on our knees weeping before the Lord with being down on our knees rejoicing at the way He has moved and continues to move, even when we can’t see it or feel it. To quote my mother-in-law: “I am reminded of the biblical concept of setting up “stones of remembrance” along the journey, so that we never forget where we have come from and so that we remember God’s mercy along the way.”

Thank you for joining with me in remembering this journey and all its hills and valleys, and for being there throughout it all, taking these praises and requests to the Lord on our behalf. May we set up stones of remembrance along our own journeys now and forevermore.”