Mere hours after our third son, River, was born full term at eight pounds on July 30th, 2020, I wrote it out and shared it publicly—the journey we had been on, beginning at the anatomy scan ultrasound halfway through pregnancy on March 13, 2020.

What was found at this ultrasound was a handful of such severe abnormalities, I was asked if terminating pregnancy was an option we’d be considering. Our world turned upside down that day.

There was an open neural tube defect called an encephalocele—a hole at the base of the skull that could be surgically fixed at birth (not without risks) IF no brain tissue gets inside of it, which would create a growth on the back of his neck and undoubtedly affect him cognitively, as well. In addition to this, there was some sort of canal defect in his heart that would also require surgery at birth. In addition to this, there was membrane in the brain that appeared to be missing.. BECAUSE of all of these anomalies, there was an even greater concern about whether or not there was a chromosomal abnormality or another type of genetic syndrome taking place….one in particular that sounded so awful and life-threatening I did not share with another soul until I knew whether or not that would be our situation.

Fast forward to a couple months later, when we were sent to Johns Hopkins for a full day of testing. I was without Nate due to Covid restrictions but I was not without the Lord. There we found that some of the issues originally noted were resolved or downgraded; most notably, the canal defect in the heart was no longer there, the encephalocele was still free of brain tissue and surgery could be held off until 6-9 months after birth, and the “missing” membrane was now appearing in normal condition. The Lord was moving mountains. We also picked up a few additional concerns that day. First, there was a hole in the heart that would need to be fixed if it didn’t close on its own. Second, the MRI on his brain picked up bumpy sides on the ventricles of his brain they referred to as nodular heterotopia. This could indicate he will have seizures at some point (how severe, no one knows), cognitive delays of some sort (how severe, no one knows), or it might not amount to anything at all. And lastly, my cervix was alarmingly short—mean gestational age for cervixes even close to how short mine was is 32 weeks. The doctors kinda freaked and put all these interventions in place (progesterone, silicone device under my cervix, largely limited my physical activity). They urgently began preparing me to go into labor that very night at 27 weeks 2 days…injected my leg with steroids that would help his lungs develop more aggressively and had me get a second dose at my home hospital if I even made it home before delivering.

Fast forward back to his birth on July 30th, 2020:

Here we are at the birth of our son River, with significantly less setbacks/less severe setbacks than what we were looking at originally. Much is still unknown… now, in his first year of life, and maybe even throughout his life. He is currently in the NICU being evaluated and monitored, and will shortly be transported via ambulance over to Children’s for additional testing/monitoring.

But God has the final say and I am here for it. All of it. Our faith has been put to the test and I am blown away by the comfort and peace He has been giving me and my family every single day of this intense journey, whether things were looking grim or hopeful. This hasn’t been my battle; it has been the Lord’s, for “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14). The amount of fervent prayer covering him is indescribable. River is not the River he was and was predicted to be, Nate is not the same man, I am not the same woman, and I know my family and close friends can and would say the same. How much this little boy has already impacted all of us brings me to tears and I excitedly await the rest of our days with him.